Friday coffee thoughts and migraines

It’s Saturday afternoon and I’m nursing a wicked migraine. I haven’t had one this bad in a while and it’s soured my good mood. The insomnia is back and I wound up staying up ALL night again, getting out of bed at 5 am to do what? I made eggs for breakfast and put a chocolate oatmeal loaf in the oven. I just finished a slice and it’s delicious.

The weather is supposed to be really hot this weekend reaching up to plus 36 degrees. The weird thing is – it’s not like humid heat like in July or early August when we get summer storms. It’s more like a dry heat. And then once the sun goes down, it starts getting cold. Last night, it dipped down to 13C and next week – single digits! I know that means fall is already here but the changes are already so fast. The geese are flying south for winter in droves and the sky is dark by 8:30 now.

I’m so looking forward to being able to have the oven on again. I’ve missed baking and cooking casseroles. I’d really like to start experimenting with zucchini and squash soups starting next week. I think my first crockpot meal of the season will be butternut squash and tomato soup – or maybe chili. I have some bell peppers I need to use up too.

My weight is slowly dropping – very slowly and it’s infuriating. I upped my protein this month so far and I’m seeing minimal progress. I have more flexibility and my stomach is a little better. I’m trying to exercise daily and I really hope to get to the pool next week — if my swimsuit still fits. That’s the goal.

I hate being the size I am and it really messes with my confidence. I’m not this whiny or needy person. I’m trying to claim some of my independence back and not rely so much on my relationship with my Dom.

So, for the next while, I’ll be focusing more on me and getting to know more people locally. Building relationships with those I welcomed into my life this summer. And learning to recognize toxic and narcissicistic behaviors in others. I won’t be fooled by shiny goggles again when it comes to men.

I also decided that some people aren’t worth crying over. Some people aren’t worth being scared of. Time to reclaim what is mine – my power. And to be the strong person I once was.

As for this weekend – I’ll get some sun. Hopefully see my dad at some point, tho his residence has a COVID breakout so I’ve been trying to avoid visits for him and me. I’ve been so emotional lately, that I didn’t want to upset him.

It also turns out that I have some haters stalking me on social media site. I’ll end this post with this thought:

If you hate me so much, why are you spending so much time following my life? Are you jealous? Because honestly, there’s nothing to be jealous about. It’s not all sunshine and roses. As for being too emotional? Yeah, screw you. We all have our problems. Get bent.

Thanks to my latest followers. I’m working on different types of content and will be getting back into mental health discussions, and topics that inspire me. I’m also getting back into artwork and may share some here too.

On that note, I’m signing off. Migraines just make me cranky and I haven’t had one this bad in a long while. They make you feel drunk almost. Or stoned. And so, my bed is calling for me to return.

Happy Friday. Thanks for reading.

5 Comments Add yours

  1. Middager says:

    I would exercise or read something boring, so I can fall asleep 😴 soon.

    Like

  2. wendy says:

    I might just sleep outside tonight it has been soooo hot

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Middager says:

    Ice tea and ice cream won’t help at all?

    Like

  4. wendy says:

    Sadly not with chronic insomnia 😞

    Like

  5. Middager says:

    Do you take pills ? How about trying some music 🎶 or reading philosophy?

    Like

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