September Self-care Goals and Rewards


Here we are – September has begun and summer is over. The kids are back in school and for many, life has returned to normal. Which for parents, often means chaos as they juggle back to school and work schedules after a long summer break.

For me, this time of year has a lot of significance. It’s the time of year I seek solace and tend to look inwards to work on healing past traumas and hurts. And as we are now in another month, I suppose it’s time to set a new list of goals and things to incorporate into my daily routines.

What’s different this year, is that I have someone who holds me accountable. So, part of my self-care goals will be working on accountability. If I say I’m going to do something, I’ll do my best to actually carry my actions out. I say this as I hit the last few hours of my social media ban from Fetlife. He’s done this before – grounded me for an entire day of no posting on social media. I could still chat, follow and like stuff, but this time – it was a total blackout from Fetlife for 48 hours.

I couldn’t engage with friends, check messages, respond to notifications or even login to the site to moderate the few groups I run. I know there’s messages for me, waiting, because I get some email notifications. And this is pure torture. It’s killing me. But I know – he’s right. I needed the break from the site and he made the decision for me.

People who aren’t into “kink” don’t often get it. The relationship for me, even though it’s LDR is about the control. Sometimes I need that control, that firm hand, to keep me in line. Someone to call me out on my bullshit. And someone to reel me back in when I hit spirals like I’ve been in this week.

But it’s a new day. A new month. Fall is upon us. And it’s time to make some changes — and actually STICK to them. Otherwise, he might kick my ass – literally this time. He’s stepped up his game and started asking for things he’s never asked for before. To some people, this might sound possessive and too controlling, to me — I’ve never had someone give me this attention. Or want to help me before. And I’ve grown accustomed to it.

So, not only are these changes for me – but they’re also for him. For as long as the relationship lasts.

September self-care goals


This is a hard one for me. I can be indecisive and you can see this with my shopping habits. I’ve placed so many clothing orders only to cancel them last minute or just not finish the final steps. I keep changing my mind. I’ll say things like “I’m going dark” for a few hours, or a few days, and then I don’t. Or I say “I’m going to go to the pool every week!” And then don’t.

For September, I’m going to focus on not over extending myself and only creating goals that are realistic and attainable. Procrastination is something I’ve always been bad for. So, using an app, I’m going to set daily deadlines for myself. I’ll have to think more on this – on how this will work.

Fitness and Weight Loss Goals

  • Continue to track my food intake daily using My Fitness Pal
  • Eat healthy and well rounded meals, cook more, order in less
  • Try at least 1 new recipe every week with the crockpot
  • Go for more walks as the weather cools off until the snow hits
  • Go to the pool 2x a month starting mid-September

Daily Outdoor Activities

Daily outdoor activities include getting some sun during the day and sitting on the balcony. Going for walks. Getting together with friends for coffee at a park, though I’m not attending those park meets anymore. Sitting outside at night time – which means getting some nice candles or balcony lighting for evenings as it’s dark early now.

Daily Creative Projects

  • Write 1x blog post daily, a journal entry, or creative writing such as poetry, or short stories.
  • Get back into editing my books and finish off that series I wrote in the spring.
  • Work 1x art pieces daily, or at least 3x per week and share on DeviantArt.
  • Consider giving Etsy another shot, or opening another print shop for artwork.
  • Work on music videos at least 1x month and record more cover songs.
  • Work daily on this blog, and revisit some older posts to republish them, delete more of the daily diary entries.

Good Reads Challenge

I miss the Good Reads Challenge. I don’t want to get too ambitious, so I will aim for 1 book per month and write a review on it as I used to. I’m still shopping for a cheap tablet for reading and streaming content on. I also listen to a few different podcasts.

Home Projects

Re-decorate my bedroom which badly needs some TLC. The owner really should have painted the walls before I moved in. There are nicks, holes and scratches everywhere. Cracks in the foundation. It doesn’t look bad to visitors, but as someone who spends a lot of sleepless nights staring at those walls – it’s time to make changes. I give myself a budget of $1000 for the whole project. That includes new bedding, curtains, maybe a tv for the wall across from my bed and some accessories. I’ve decided on the color scheme. The walls are cream, the floor is green-grey and so, accents will be peach, burnt orange, pink and teal. Also, potentially hire some cleaners to help with a massive clean or spot cleaning – especially the bathrooms. Do some of that today.

Social Media Breaks

Take weekly breaks from social media sites like Fetlife and don’t post or share anything for 24 hours. Brat less even though it’s something I love to do for him – but it’s not always received well with others. Use those days to focus on home projects, work on art, and other creative projects. Maybe get into music again.

Visit with Friends

I need to get back into socializing. I’m planning for a slumber party or move night with a couple of new girlfriends. I have a few close friends I need to catch up with and schedule either weekly or bi-weekly outings with. I’d still love to do a day trip or a weekend trip out of the city. But that all is TBD. So, aim for at least 1x social weekly visit. And see my dad more often once the COVID outbreak is over in his building. I can’t get sick.


  • Go to a salon and get my hair professionally colored and styled
  • Plan for a spa day in October if I lose 5-10 pounds
  • Buy 1 new book each month if I hit my reading goal (order in)
  • Only order in 1x meal per week (pizza or Chinese)

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