Summer is officially here, though you wouldn’t know it with today’s rain. A few things have changed since my last fitness check in and I’m focusing on new wellness goals for the summer. I figured I’d lump in July and August into one post as I don’t see much changing from month to month.
I’m “dating” again. Kind of. I mean, it’s not your typical relationship as I’ve mentioned in recent posts. For the vanilla crowd, I’m in a D/s dynamic that is consentual. Yes, I’m kinky. Openly kinky now after taking a long break for 7 years. I was heavily active in the local scene from 2002ish until I left in 2011.
I opened up my Fetlife profile back in March and started reconnecting with old friends. But it turns out most of my old friends have moved out of province, or to Europe. Or they left the kink scene all together. So, here I am, re-entering a world where I was once a veteran to now, it’s a whole different scene, with new faces and things to learn. It’s a constant journey of self-discovery and learning. My views on relationships have changed dramatically since the last time I was out and about.
I’m currently in a primary D/s dynamic with a man in Minnesota. He’s become a huge part of my daily life as you all know. The distance makes it impossible to see each other right now. Family obligations on his end. Disability benefits on my end. So, we’re compromising and entering the world of Ethical Non-monogamy relationships.
That means, he has a primary life partner that he lives with who is also kinky. But she doesn’t necessarily meet all his Dominant needs. He and I instantly clicked in that aspect, and so, I’m bound to him – so to speak. He “owns” me. Which does sound controlling to non kinky folks, but for me, it’s something I need. He helps keep me accountable, makes sure I’m living my life to the best I can, and constantly helping me to improve myself. But it’s more than that. There’s a deep connection that I don’t want to let go of any time soon.
But because of the distance, I’m allowed (with his approval), to meet others here. I was invited to a private group that meets every weekend at a local park. I went to my first munch last weekend and have plans to return tomorrow. It’s a casual meet and greet kind of thing where people just hang out, eat snacks, bring their pups and just have a good time. I’ve made some new friends that I cherish already. And I’ve also met another man that I’ve connected with. And even more important, my main Minnesota man approves of him.
So, I went from being single – to now I have two very protective men looking out for my best interest. Protectors in a way. The kink community is prone to attracting predators. I’m pretty savvy about spotting predatory behavior, but it also warms my heart to say… hey. No. You’ve gotta go through my guy here, and he’ll tell you to get fucked.
I’m meeting new friends, chatting daily, and feel incredibly lucky. Many of my family friends are 60-95 years old. And it was important to me to find people closer to my age. I’m happy. For the first time in a long time, actually happy – even if I still struggle with anxiety and medical issues. Even if I overthink and stress about relationships — I’m truly happy. Maybe because I’m finally allowing me to be my authentic self. And not hiding it from the world.
You don’t need to know the rest of the details. I’ll save those for the kink crew. Heh. Let’s just say it was a very good week for this gal.
My problem with being in a relationship is that I overthink EVERYTHING. I fret about things until it becomes a problem. My goal for the summer is to learn to let go of ideas and negative thoughts that prevent me from just being and enjoying life. This is going to take some self-dedication, meditation and mindfulness exercises. I’ll see if my therapist has some ideas about that. There are issues with abandonment anxiety, so that’s something I want to work on too. The main reason is I don’t want to scare the guys away with my insecurities. I want to be able to handle the bad days on my own too. Like I used to.
Fitness and Weight Loss Goals
I started taking Vitamin B12 about a week ago, and I’m noticing a HUGE shift in energy. I can workout longer, and am doing more intense workouts like HIIT training for about 5-10 minutes. Sure, there are still days when I have lots of pain and can’t do much. I take it easy on those days and soak in a hot bath. I still need to venture out to the pool too and join aqua fit classes.
The good news, is that I definitely DO NOT have osteoporosis. Thank God. One less thing to worry about. My geneticist was quite surprised. I’m super grateful to him. He’s been a literal life saver and offered a lot of good advice what to do for the weight loss.
Progress is slow. I’ve built a lot of muscle and strength. I can do stomach crunches now, sits ups and half push ups. I can even do a few squats without killing my knees. The weather has not been optimal for walks, but I hope that changes.
- Fresh air daily – sit outside or go to park munches
- Take a long walk around the park after the munch
- Start exploring this area and visit parks on cooler days
- More cardio – cardio kick boxing, cycling, aerobics (zumba, etc)
- Strength – daily resistance training, crunches, squats, legs/knees
- Weights – 3x per week
- Walking – 3x per week
- Massage – go for a massage every few months
I am not focusing on weight, but rather fat loss. This means more strength exercises, using the exercise ball (on the floor, not the bed), pilates, planks, etc, etc. Use the dumbbells more often. And find new exercises to work different muscles and target new areas.
Food and Nutrition
My food goals need an overhaul as what I’ve been doing is not working. I need to up the protein to build lean muscle and get rid of body fat. I’m going back to my family doctor soon to discuss drugs that I can take to help with weight loss. I need to get some lab work done next week to check hormones, thyroid and insulin levels. If we can rule out any medical issues, then we’ll have a better idea of what to do. I think I just need to up my cardio game. Not everyone needs cardio for weight loss -but I do because I live a pretty sedentary lifestyle. It’s affecting my posture and back too.
- Add more protein to the diet by using eggs, chicken, tuna, beans, and maybe a steak or chili weekly to add a bit of red beef. I love a juicy steak in summer time. Especially when grilled. Mhm.
- Drink more water. Increase to 3.5 litres per day. I’ve been pretty good with 2 litres per day. Some days are more than others. Need to keep at it. Water can help reduce inflammation too for the arthritis and is great for the skin.
- Less starchy carbs. I can still eat bread, just maybe every other day. Pasta x1 weekly. Potatoes and other starch vegetables on occasion.
- Three meals. Eat at least 3 meals per day. 2 big meals for breakfast and dinner. And a light lunch consisting of some protein and mostly raw veggies.
- Take my vitamin supplements. Vitamin D3, B12, Calcium-Magnesium all for deficiencies
- Continue tracking my stats on MyFitnessPal. Ignore the scales for now. Maybe take bi-weekly measurements.
I think that’s a pretty good commitment for the summer. I use a few apps to keep me on track and my partner checks the app daily. I lose points if I don’t meet certain goals. And when I earn enough points, I can cash in more rewards. Which reminds me, I need to think of more rewards.
Happy summer! I’ll post once or twice a month just to check in.
What are YOUR fitness goals?