Early morning rain thoughts

I actually wrote this on Sunday and forgot to post it.

It’s the end of the month already and as hard as it has been this year, a lot has happened in the past month. So much so that it’s been a bit over whelming.

First of all, I met with my new geneticist and he’s a really nice guy. He’s interested in studying me for the rare disease that I was born with. It affects my bone and joints. He is almost 90% sure that it is the root cause of my problems but he won’t know until he sees me in person.

That said, the following week, he referred me to a rheumatologist, an ortho surgeon for my knees and will help me find a new family doctor. He’s also sending reqs in the mail for a bone density scan to check for osteoporosis – which is looking more and more like a reality for me. I feel it in my bones. My joints are wearing thin.

This week, I finished my final draft of my novel. Gosh, this was hard to write. It left me with mixed feelings. I put a lot of myself into this book and recalled years of abuse with the wrong partners. I poured that trauma into the main character.

I found myself identifying with her too much. Sometimes, I’d cry myself to sleep at night because of the things I put her through. But realizing I cried because it was what I had gone through in real life. Only, I added a supernatural flair to it. Because you know, fantasy shit sells.

Tomorrow marks a year since I moved into this condo and it’s really hard to believe that much time has passed.

The days are getting longer here and I have more energy. I’m working out almost daily as long as my joints allow me to. I did a round of planks today and feel stronger over all. So, slow progress, but progress nonetheless.

Loneliness is a beast that has been strong these days. As my dad draws closer to the end of his days, I grieve for him. It’s hard seeing him like this. I had a bad night on Saturday.

And to my surprise, my ex Don, who is still a friend, responded and has been there for me. We’re chatting again. Much of the same old. But it’s just nice to have someone to talk to – who has known me, as long as Don has known me.

I’m desperately trying to get into shape for spring. It’s coming soon. The nights are still a bit chilly for sitting outside. But the days are getting warmer and longer. Soon. It will be here soon.

That’s about it for now. I’ll check in again at the end of the month which is coming up fast.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. That’s great that you finished the final draft!

    I hope the doctor appointments and tests will yield some useful answers.


  2. wendymusings says:

    Thanks Ashley! The editing is the hard part. It’s much longer than I thought it would be too. But once you get started on it, it all seems to come together. And yes, me too. Been waiting three years to see the right doctors.

    Liked by 1 person

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