This morning started off as a great day. I felt good when I got up again at 7:49 am on the dot. My inner alarm clock is dead set on me getting up at this time.

Got off to the church okay for my bi-weekly gig to play some music and see some family friends. I don’t talk about it much here. Religion isn’t that important to me. It’s the friends and community I miss most.

Getting out of the church – I was chatting to the pastor’s wife who I have known since they came to Canada five years ago. I’ve watched the bay grow up and now he’s a big six year old who is at my waist. He’s tall.

We were chatting… and BOOM.

I slipped on the tiniest patch of ice and went down hard. My knee went out. It was like slow motion but fast at the same time. Landed hard on my wrist and then my back. I felt something jolt. I may have re-fractured my spine. But no use in going to the hospital. My joints pop right back into place.

But when this happens, my knee can’t hold weight for a few days. Which means bed rest and no exercise. And that really bums me out. I was just starting to feel good.

I hate this disease. I hate my joints. Sometimes I hate the universe too. But I’ll get over it.

And so, I’m popping pills and will head back to bed. Sometimes living alone is the worst when you hurt yourself.

And I’ve resigned to the fact that at 44, I’ll need a cane and probably a walker. If I do have osteoporosis, breaks can happen so easily. I’ll have to ask the geneticist to order some new xrays too and see if anything else is damaged.

This is life with hypermobility. I hate it. So fucking much. But it’s just another day. And tomorrow will be painful, but better.

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