Wednesday Wisdom: unsolicited relationship advice

This was a question that popped up on Reddit and I thought I would share my response with you here – in case you needed some support.

Take it with a grain of salt. I’m obviously not married. But I’ve had my fair share of long-term relationships. I also learn from others – friends and family members and their relationships.

Ask Reddit Question:

As a virgin with no relationships, what is your best relationship advice?

First off and this is the most important piece of advice I can give anyone who doesn’t want to be in a relationship.

Don’t start dating because of pressures of society, friends or family. Relationships aren’t for everyone. Some people are better off single. You don’t need a relationship to make you happy.

Now, if you are young and want to start dating then I’ve got some really great advice for you. Learn from my mistakes.

I think it's important to learn to like your own company before being  dependent on someone else's | Words quotes, Image quotes, Words of wisdom

Find a common bond

Join a club or group or some kind of activity that you enjoy. Meet people that way. Go to a Facebook group or Meetup website or even a dating website (18+ adults please). Fill out your profile, upload good pictures, write a basic introduction and list your interests. Find someone you have a lot in common with. Go do those activities you love together.

Patience is a virtue

Find someone that has similar values to you. If you want to wait to have sex, then find someone who is willing to wait. Or someone who is a virgin like you. Don’t give into the pressures of sex just because someone wants you to. Do it in your own time. No means no. Set healthy boundaries early on.

Listen to each other

Communication is the number one thing that will make or break a relationship. If you have a healthy dialogue about your wants or needs, then your relationship will have a better chance of survival. Being able to talk about issues without blowing up or having a fight is key.

And please don’t resort to texting. Call each other. See each other in person. Learn to communicate face to face. Then you can hug it out after.

Learn to compromise, not sacrifice

Relationships are a two way street. First you need to learn to communicate and listen to each other. Then you need to learn to make compromises and find solutions that work for you both. If one person does all the sacrificing for the other person, eventually, they will start to resent you. Find balance. Work together – not against each other.

Get to know yourself first

Get to know yourself. What do you want out of life? A life partner? A best friend? A friend with benefits? All of the above? Think about what you want from a relationship first.

But the key to happiness is really finding happiness by being on your own. Allow yourself to get comfortable with being alone. That way, if the relationship should end, you know that you’ll be okay. Because you’ve been alone before.

Quotes about Learning to be alone (29 quotes)

If you had to start all over again in the dating world, would you? What is some good advice you’d give your younger self?

Never miss a post – subscribe now. I write daily.

Weekly advice columns – got a question? Ask away.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.