Yesterday was a fantastic day. I had great energy and got a lot accomplished around the condo. Four loads of laundry were done including sheets. There’s nothing finer than climbing into a nice clean and freshly made bed. I’m actually loving the jersey knit sheets too. They have a different feel to them. Cool when you need them, but a warm and satisfying feeling at the same time. My old comforter held up after a good wash and soak and I have an old quilt on the bed too. It’s really old – 20 years. I need to get a new one as it’s falling apart. But it would make for a great outdoor blanket on chilly nights.
In between loads of laundry, I spent some time reorganizing my pantry room. It’s cluttered and I don’t like it. I’m looking at creative ways to store things like towels and cleaning supplies. I have a large box to store cans and recycling but it takes up so much room. My sister is coming by to pick up some of the plastic bins I have from the move so that should give me more room. I organized both my bedroom closet and the front closet so I have room to store my linens and Christmas decorations. I’ve always wanted pantry area for storage and now I finally have one. It’s pretty great.
I baked a delicious oatmeal loaf and the recipe is up. But it turned out really dry. I think next time I need to add some honey or brown sugar to help it stick together. Or cook it for only 30 minutes. I think oats take less time to cook than flour. I loved the taste of it and will use a 2:1 ratio for oats to flour going forward. I placed the quick oats in a cannister so this will help as they sit on the counter. I’m trying to add oatmeal to my diet every day. And amazingly, it’s helping for weight loss. I am dropping about 0.5 pounds per day. But I’ve also cut way back on bread too.
Last night I couldn’t sleep. I got out of bed around 2:30 and sat by the fireplace. It was so cold in here. I had opened all the windows to get some fresh air in here as it was still 25C which is warm for this time of year. And that’s with the heat off. I may never have to turn the heat on. I think it’s because I face the sun during the day when we see it. The fireplace felt warm and comforting. I made myself a hot cup of calming tea and milk. I finally crawled into bed around 5 am which ruined today for me. I spent most of the afternoon in bed. My joints are achy and sore – I think it’s the weather.
I also had a hot bath last night. I forgot how soothing they can be. I’m going to shop Amazon for some bath salts to soak in. I think that can help with the pain too. My skin has been so dry and itchy and I need to do something about that. I used my sea salt scrub and my skin feels so much better.
Yesterday was an art therapy kind of day. I got a lot accomplished on my Etsy store and marketing. I’m working on some TikTok videos now. I’m trying new techniques when it comes to digital art. I’m giving Etsy one last try. I changed the name of the shop back to jenwenart. I also redid the banner art and changed up a lot of the mock up photos. I use Canva.com for all my marketing materials and it’s a lot of fun to use. I removed the majority of the worksheets and journals from the shop.
I get that those are popular items but honestly, I hate creating them. They take so much time and effort. Even creating the mock up photos is a lot of work. And so, I’m sticking to digital art and learning watercolor for now. I figure with more advertising and marketing, I’ll start to see sales come in. The summer was slow for most Etsy shop owners. I’m already thinking about what kind of products I can do for Christmas.
Here’s a photo I did last night. I call it Secret Garden. It’s a printable and I love it. I also bumped up my prices. Sometimes pricing items too low can drive people away. I think it’s time to charge what I’m worth. This is still a hobby for now. Any sales I make – the money goes right back into ads, and the cost of websites I run.
Comfort food and comforting thoughts
Today was back to school day here in Edmonton. All my nieces and nephews are back in school for the year. It’s only the “littles” who are in school now. We call them the littles because they were the youngest of all 9 kids. They’re now in their senior year which is hard to believe. My one nephew starts college this week and I’m so gosh darn proud of him. I’ll be giving another nephew theory lessons and I’m looking forward to spending time with him.
Other than dinner with my friend Louise, I’ve been feeling pretty cut off lately. While I love being at home, sometimes I do get lonely. I regret not being there for the kids and not taking the time to get to know them. Some of them even look like me which throws me off. Genetics are kind of weird.
I think maybe I’m missing my mom this week. I’ve been having the strangest dreams about the house and her lately. Not memories really, but real life details mixed in with things that never happened.
God I miss her.
It’s been seven years since she died but I don’t think it gets any easier. I’d give anything to hear her voice again. Or give her a hug. I used to feel her around me a lot but I haven’t in years. I think that means she’s either with dad. Or maybe she’s finally found peace.
Dad says she’s always around him when he needs her. He doesn’t talk about her much. He doesn’t talk about much of anything these days. The Parkinsons makes it really difficult for him. I miss him too. I miss my real dad. The dad that would tell awful dad jokes and puns that made us laugh. I’m seeing tomorrow afternoon and hope he is okay for a visit.
During our visit on Saturday, he started to stand up and I asked him where he was going.
“Home, I want to go to my house,” he said.
This made me cry. We sold the house last year. I hate telling him that place is his home now. He lived in the house for nearly 50 years. It’s understandable that he wants to go back to it. I hate that strangers are living in the house now. I miss it a lot.
I know that I said I would keep this blog positive. But sometimes, we all just need a good cry. I’ve been binge watching The Gilmore Girls and it makes me think of my mum too. Complicated family dynamics. I love the show.
For tonight, I think I’m going to whip up some creamy tomato soup. A ham and grilled cheese sandwich. And watch some Gilmore Girls. Maybe I’ll have a bath later. Or maybe I’ll just go to bed early and get back on track.
Does grief get any easier as we get older?
I think sometimes, maybe it gets harder. But the only thing we can really do is be gentle with ourselves and practice a little self-care.