I’ve been hooked on the Britney Spears conservatorship case for the last few months. It’s all over YouTube and there are so many great YouTubers covering the case. During my search for coverage of the court hearings, I stumbled across a channel called The Body Language Guy and it’s one of the most interesting and eye opening channels I’ve watched in a very long time.
Hosted by Jesus Enrique Rosas – very humorous man who breaks down body language cues from high profile interviews with Hollywood stars and the Royal Family. The channel is small is 154K subscribers but it has earned over 8.7 million views which is impressive in its own right. I binged watched the videos last week and his breakdown of each person in the interviews is spot on.
What I like about the host is that he focuses on toxic relationships and narcissists and teaches people how to spot verbal cues that these people give off when they are interviewed.
But it’s videos like this one – how to spot a narcissist – that got my attention. It aligns nicely with my earlier post here on the subject. What I like about this video though, is how to spot the toxic behaviour before the person manipulates you.
Warning: if you are a toxic person or narcissist, then this post may triggers emotions within you. That’s not my problem. You should probably seek therapy if this sets you off. And yes, my posts on negative people or traits have set people off in the past which resulted in me blocking them fast and furiously. Heh.
The top points to take away from this video is:
- These people crave attention at all costs
- They isolate you from family and friends (classic abuser move)
- Contradicting facial expressions
- Not every narcissist is a manipulator (but many are)
- Their weapon of choice
- Whatever it takes to be flawless
- The emotional rollercoaster
- Whatever you
(this is taken from the video’s description)
My own experiences with narcissistic behaviours lines up well with the points in this video. But one thing I find amusing is that people who accuse you of being negative or toxic – are those that recognize the traits in themselves. That’s why posts like this can trigger people. It’s not the words you have written. It’s the fact that they know deep down, they can see this negative behaviour within themselves. Yet instead of getting the professional help they sorely need, they will continue playing the victim for the rest of their miserable lives. Because that’s what narcissists do.
I worked in addictions and mental health for four years after working in health administration for four years. I learned a lot about toxic relationships and how to recognize that you’re in a toxic relationship. It helped a lot when dealing with family members and my personal relationships have never been better.
They want you to react negatively to their actions
The number one thing I’ve learned is that these people are looking for a reaction from you. They know how to trigger your own emotions and they’re seeking a negative response from you. They in turn will use this against you and will gaslight you. They’ll deny what they are doing and will say, “I haven’t done anything wrong, I can’t help it if you’re too sensitive” or something similar.
The easiest way to deal with someone like this is simple.
Are you ready for it? The answer is easier than it sounds.
That’s right – ignore them and walk away from the situation. Don’t give them that reaction they are looking for. Go on with your day. Don’t bring it up later. Just ignore them.
It will drive them fucking batty.
They will continue to try and evoke a reaction from you. But don’t give them that satisfaction. If you have to, block them on all social media accounts. Block their phone numbers. Just block them and remove yourself from them.
It’s hard to be a target of a narcissist when they can’t reach you or connect with you at all.
You don’t need to be a body analyst or psychologist to spot this kind of childish behaviour. And that’s what it is. It’s like a toddler throwing a fit in the grocery store because you won’t let them have a handful of candy. They may call you and swear at you on the phone. Or they may show up at your door and yell at you for causing them pain. Or worse, they might write about you in their blog or post TikTok videos about you without you knowing it.
If that’s the case and you are being harassed online by someone, then you may want to consider getting a restraining order or involving the authorities. That’s a little harder to do on sites like WordPress – but on sites like TikTok or Instagram, you can report harassment and their accounts may be deleted.
But honestly, what I’ve learned from dealing with these types of people is – just don’t deal with them. Cut them off all together. Walk away from the relationship. That might be harder if you work with them or have to interact with them in real life.
At the end of the day, you have to do what’s right for you though. Look after your own mental health. Because the only one who can make those decisions is you.
I highly recommend you check out The Body Language Guy on YouTube. You will learn a lot!
Have you ever dealt with a narcissist online or in real life? If so, I want to hear from you! Let me know in the comments!
For related posts, check out my Self Help page where I share my thoughts on important topics like this one.
Disclaimer: if you do find yourself triggered by topics like this, it may be that you have been a victim of an abusive or toxic relationship. If that’s the case, I encourage you to seek professional counseling. I’ve been there myself, and it’s why I’m still single today. No hate for those people. But the emotional scars of a toxic relationship can last for a long time.