Sunday morning contemplations

It’s Sunday morning and I’ve been up since 8:30 am. Today is going to be a full day of laundry and cleaning. My living room desperately needs to be vacuumed. I spent some time outside yesterday organizing and cleaning my balcony too. I knocked over my empty planters and dumped some dirt all over. That was fun to clean up.

It’s been a pretty good weekend so far.

I saw my dad for a short visit on Friday afternoon. He held my hand and we talked about the church and family. I showed him some pictures of my new place and he asked how I liked it. Now that things are starting to open up again, we’re hoping to have an outdoor family dinner together. We haven’t been together as a whole family in almost a year.

Yesterday, I caught up with one of my besties and we went for lunch. I had gone for dinner with my sister in February for my birthday. This was the first “social” outing since then! It was a nice day, good food. Although, I’m not sure I like avocado and tomatoes mixed together. I forgot how good it felt to be social and eat good food. The restaurant was quite busy. But I do like not being squished in together like sardines. I hope that continues after the pandemic is finally over.

I just had my weekly groceries dropped off. I haven’t order in since June 1st for groceries. I made the order for two things specifically. And of course, they weren’t packed in with the order. That is just so frustrating. I called them and they’ll credit my account – but still. Now I have to make another trip to the store and get the missing items.

I just wish people would really pay more attention when packing orders. Usually the store is pretty good. They might have new staff. But again, now I either have to go to a different store to pick up the items, or get another delivery in which is more money down the drain.

The other day I received an email that the church I volunteer at is reopening in a couple of weeks. I have mixed feelings about this. I was hardly asked at all to provide music in the last year. Even though I’ve been the resident musician since 2005. The new family running the church – they’re all very musical and have provided most of the music.

I got to the point where I was okay with this. If they’re having fun, that’s fine. But now I’m wondering – do I even get any joy of out volunteering anymore? I love seeing my friends and family, but it’s been SIXTEEN years of my life and giving up Sundays.

I’ve lost interest in music all together. It’s so hard to get views and engagement on social media. I’m ready to retire all together and pack it in – and just focus on writing. I get more out of writing than I do music. But I’ve also done music for over 40 years now. Maybe I’m just bored.

So, I have a lot to think about. It may be time to cut back to 2 services a month. Then 1 service a month. That way, I can still see everyone. I also live across the city now so it’s quite the drive. It was the church that kept me downtown for all those years. And now that I’m not downtown, I’m feeling very “meh” about it.

Church has never been a big part of my life. I have open ended beliefs that don’t jive with religion. I’m very bitter towards the Catholic church for many reasons. Having worked with residential school survivors, that’s just ONE of many reasons.

But this tiny church was close to my heart. It was important to my grandmother. And so, I’ve stayed mostly for that family connection.

And this is where I am this Sunday morning. Lots to think about.

How’s your day going?

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