I’m sitting in the dark in my living room feeling a mixture of emotions today. Mostly, I’m tired. But I think that is from the isolation which is really getting to me emotionally. But I’ve had a rough few days with pains and feeling sick. It’s a vicious cycle. I have to take medications for the pain but sometimes the medications make me sick and sleepy.
COVID-19 cases are so bad here in Edmonton that most of the city is in lockdown. I’m sad that I haven’t seen my dad in over a month. And now we just got news that my volunteer gig with the church has been cancelled until middle of January.
I literally – have no where to go with the new restriction rules. My dad was the one social connection I had through all of this. And I had a cohort with my sister’s family which is no longer allowed.
But in addition to the loneliness and feeling tired, I’m also nervous, excited and maybe even a tad stressed.
This morning I had a conversation with someone that has helped me out with some legal issues in the past. She had some wise words for me this morning and gave me good advice on what I should do moving forward. I can’t speak to the details here. But the advice she gave me, was the final balm I needed to push things forward.
You are truly a great person. You’ve had a very hard go this year with very little to no support. Yet you continue to fight and press on. That’s a quality of you that I admire. It takes courage during times of uncertainty. But sometimes your own mental health is worth more than money.
If only she knew how many times I was close to giving up this past year. I think it’s the fight in me that has kept things going. Mostly because I am stubborn. And determined. I seek justice for those that have wronged me in the past. And I’m learning to stand up for my own rights as a human. It’s also a quality that I inherited for my mother.
She would have made a great warrior in another life.
Vague posting? Yes, indeed.
But I just wanted to share those touching words that have given me a new strength and renewed energy.
It may seem like I have little support in my life at this time, but there are people like this who reach out and show they care. And those are people that I love.
And so, if you’re like me and feeling a little down today and need some words of encouragement and support – it’s this. Don’t let people wear you down. Don’t stay at a job that makes you miserable. Don’t stay in a relationship that is toxic for you. Don’t be friends with someone who takes advantage of you.
You are worth more than this. And you will get through this. Repeat these words until needed. You will get through this. And you are worth it.