It’s a chilly and cloudy morning here in my condo. I had to turn the light on as I cleaned my kitchen and now in my living room. Looks like another day of rain. Which beats the alternative – that I can’t even think about yet this early into fall.
The days are getting shorter. The sun is down by 9:00 pm. My condo starts getting dark around 7:00 pm now. It’s a reminder of what’s coming soon.
Saturdays are quickly becoming my favorite days again – as I gear myself up for returning to work. Whatever that might look like. I have a meeting on Monday with my therapist to discuss options. The two main things my doctor ordered were – a lateral transfer to another department working for different people. And working from home during COVID.
She seems to think that working from home suits me – and I agree. And so, I’m trying desperately for the next two weeks to get my regular sleep schedule back.
The other night I couldn’t sleep. I wound up getting up around four am and said to hell with it. I just stayed up. I finally crawled back into bed around eleven. And could not sleep.
Last night, I met up with a friend that I haven’t seen before lock down began in March. We used to go for lunch every month. We brought our masks and were careful as we walked in the restaurant. Hardly anyone inside wore masks. Kind of shocking. People stared at us like we were crazy walking in with masks. But hey, it’s you know – a bylaw.
We took the masks off to eat. We were separated by a large table. We had a couple of drinks. And she joked, “So, you’re driving home?” we laughed. We caught up. We fixed all the world’s problem in one conversation.
Louise and I worked together many years ago. She was my boss. She couldn’t believe everything that my employer had done to me.
“You were never like that with us. You were one of the best workers we had,” she said to me. I nodded and we ordered a second round of drinks.
It felt good for a sense of normalcy. Just getting out and being social for the first time in many months. My visits with my dad aren’t really social. He sleeps most of the time or watches tv. He can’t talk much anymore. I help him into bed and watch him sleep.
The only other person I’ve seen is my sister over the last few months. I’ve been to church a handful of times. And we’ve only had a few people show up for each service. I miss my community. My family. I just miss laughing and having fun.
And so, that’s my goal. Once I get back into working mode, I need to get back into socializing and seeing friends. I can’t just stay at home and hide in my condo for fear of getting sick. That’s no way to live. And this entire year has been such a waste.
So, that’s my goal. I broke my fast this morning. I crawled into bed last night around eight and managed to sleep most of the night. I got out of bed around 7:30 this morning. Almost twelve hours of sleep. Sometimes that’s what I need to do to reset the insomnia clock. Just sleep half a day and get caught up.
I’m still tired – but I feel energized and and motivated.
Listening to some piano music, with a hot cup of coffee in hand.
For the moment, life is good.