This morning was rough. I couldn’t sleep last night and kept saying to myself, “just one more hour, and then I’ll get up.” My plans to wake up at 7:30 am and have a productive day turned into climbing out of bed at 1:00 pm.

I don’t know what happened. A few weeks ago I was doing really well with sleep. I was getting a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. My dreams were great. I felt energized and ready to start my day. So, what happened?

I think it’s because my time at home is coming to an end and I’m stressing about returning to work. For many reasons I don’t want to get into here. I was really hoping to go back to school this year and do some re-training but it doesn’t look like that’s happening.

I’m seeing my doctor this week for a follow up and will discuss going back to part time hours – possibly three days a week. It means less take home pay. My basics will be covered. But at least it’s some kind of work. Whatever that looks like.

Full-time work was hard for me before with the PCOS and migraines. Even harder when I started getting sick. Even harder now that I’ve been home for so long.

So, here I am on this cloudy Tuesday morning with so many thoughts. My life is about to change. I think the stress comes from not knowing how it’s going to change. So many uncertainties.

But on the plus side. I’m down a couple of pounds. I’ve lost another inch around the waist and am getting closer to where I was back in the spring.

So, give and take, right?

I love this temperature. Fall has arrived early and it’s usually my favorite time of year. Halloween is coming up fast which means Thanksgiving is too. If COVID is still here – I’m guessing we won’t be able to celebrate which makes me sad.

Dad is sleeping more and more and slept most of our visit yesterday. I tucked him into bed, kissed him on the cheek and said I love him, like I do every visit.

I sat for a long time watching him before leaving. Our time with him is running short. I just know it in my heart.

I think I’ll end there before I turn this into a short book.

What do you love best about fall? For me it’s – sweater weather and fall cooking. I’ll be making meatloaf tonight.

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