Friday Frustration

So, I finally saw a lung specialist this morning. I always feel like these appointments are a waste of time unless you need surgery. She couldn’t help me. She couldn’t tell if I had asthma or not because I don’t exhibit any symptoms at the moments.

These doctors don’t listen to me when I tell them I dont’ feel that I have sleep apnea. Yes, I feel tired a lot of the time – but if I keep to a regular sleep schedule, I feel pretty good. Insomnia and sinus issues can wreck havoc on your sleep. I don’t feel like at all like I’m choking in the middle of the night. And I don’t have anyone around to tell me if I’m snoring.

I tried doing the sleep apnea twice and both times results came back inclusive because I couldn’t fall asleep with the machine on. She was insistent that I must have sleep apnea and am high risk for heart disease, etc.

Except that I’m NOT. I know my body. I know my history. I’ve never had issues with high blood pressure. I’ve never had heart disorders or heart problems in my life. Not even at my heaviest weight.

“Oh well your heart is racing” – maybe because I just climbed up onto a bed that’s too high for me to reach and I exerted energy sitting down?

I was actually very calm and feeling good when I was in the office.

But other shock was this – none of the staff had masks on when I walked into the office. NONE. None of the people going into the building wore masks. Yet I was told on the phone to wear a mask – at which I did. And wore it into the office and throughout the appointment.

The doctor wore a mask which is good and the girls at the front desk were wearing masks when I left. But what? One person in the office isn’t at risk?

It’s a LUNG clinic for godsakes. COVID affects the LUNGS.

I just shook my head and walked out after the appointment. I am not doing the sleep test which is like a year wait. By then, I could be in the shape I want to be.

I know that if I exercise during the day, eat well, I’ll sleep well for the most part. Some nights I don’t wake up at all. And no, I don’t wake up choking for air. Only do that when my sinuses are totally plugged up.

I feel like no one is listening to me. I know my body. They don’t. She spent forty minutes with me and I haven’t had any breathing issues in some months now because I’m at home.

She did however agree that the smoke in the office was likely the culprit for getting repeat infections. But she thinks my lungs are okay.

I think people just look at me and my weight and automatically think “she’s unhealthy” and “she has diabetes” or “she’s going to have a heart attack.”

The fact is – I take care of myself pretty well. Here’s what I’ve been doing for several months now:

  • moderate carb diet with 100-125 grams of carbs – aiming for 75-100 daily
  • daily calorie intake of 1200-1500 – aiming for low sodium products
  • exercise daily – 30-90 minutes varying between strength and cardio
  • daily supplements like vitamin B, vitamin D and magnesium
  • just added a protozoic to my routine
  • never had diabetes or insulin issues

I feel pretty great today. I was tired upon waking but being outdoors and around people – I have good energy and can breathe.

It’s really hard to find good doctors who won’t judge a person based on their weight. She was nice enough and professional. But some of these appointments are just a waste of time.

I’ve seen three doctors now who all agree that the stress and anxiety of being sick caused my weight gain over the past three years. And that I’m doing all the right things and that my illness was caused by being around smoke for three years.

I’m just fed up with it all. I’m ready for life to return to normal and get back to some kind of work whatever that might be. I just hope it’s something I’m good at and enjoy doing and the people are nice.


Just looked up symptoms and I definitely DO NOT have sleep apnea.

  • Excessive daytime sleepiness – only if I don’t sleep at night (insomnia)
  • Loud snoring – nope
  • Observed episodes of stopped breathing during sleep – no
  • Abrupt awakenings accompanied by gasping or choking – no
  • Awakening with a dry mouth or sore throat – sinuses
  • Morning headache – migraines occasionally
  • Difficulty concentrating during the day – nope
  • Experiencing mood changes, such as depression or irritability – nope
  • High blood pressure – never – blood pressure is good
  • Nighttime sweating – nope
  • Decreased libido – hormones

She just doesn’t understand how polycystic ovary syndrome works – because that’s my issue. Now I’m just pissed.

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