Karmic energy can be a real bitch

Do you ever feel that sometimes karma from past lives or even your recent past comes back to haunt you? I wasn’t a terrible person in my youth but I made a lot of bad choices in relationships. But I swear, I’ve paid my karmic debt – but the hits keep coming.

And no, I’m not putting out “negative” vibes to the universe. I’ve actually been working on my health and attitude a lot – I’m in therapy for anxiety. I’m writing almost daily. I meditate with music. I’m getting back into Shamanism. I’m eating healthy and getting daily exercise.

So, what the fuck universe? Can you give me a break already? Because this lack of empathy and “no shits given” from people who hate their jobs – I’m tired of dealing with their fuck ups.

Excuse my language. I’m upset and this is a rant.

I actually hung up on a CSR agent today from my bank because I was so upset. I wanted to avoid an argument and swearing into the phone because after thirty minutes, I was losing my cool. The call wasn’t getting me anywhere – and so, I just hung up.

I kind of miss the old phones with handsets – because pressing a button on a cell phone really hard doesn’t have the same affect as slamming a handset down – so hard – that the person on the other end can hear it.

It was as satisfying as slamming the door to express how angry you were for whatever reason. Sometimes even the coolest and calmest and most serene people can lose their cool when pushed past the breaking point.

And today, apparently, was that day.

It started off with the lost test tubes results when I went for COVID testing – I never did get an apology from AHS after that whole screw up. And nothing came out of my reports to the news stations even though my story was aired on multiple channels. Maybe because I submitted it anonymously – I just didn’t need the online trolls and UCP shills coming after me.

Then it was booking two appointments for July. My therapy appointment and my consultation appointment. And wouldn’t you know it – booked on the same days and time my sister managed to get a zoom call with my dad. I rescheduled the therapy session – but I’m going to miss the in person visit with my dad which really sucks – they are hard to book.

Then it was contacting my pay and benefits person and not getting a reply – I really, really, detest being ignored when I ask important questions. A week later, still no response.

Now today – it’s an issue with my bank. My bank that I have defended for twenty years and praised for “great customer service.’


Let’s back track, back in May, I applied for a short term cashable GIC so I could invest some of my money to save up for a downpayment – which also isn’t happening this year because of high property taxes and condo fees.

Six weeks later – still no paperwork received to complete my application. SIX weeks. I know it’s COVID and all, but I felt I was patient enough. I tried using TD chat twice and sending them internal emails – but nope. I was told I had to call in and speak to investment specialists.

The application itself took me an hour to complete. The website had been so buggy and slow. But I know it went through on my end – I got the confirmation email. So, that’s already, 1.50 hours of my life for this.

Fine. Okay, you win TD. I decided today I’d call in since I have the time.

I speak to the first agent who had no clue what I was even asking about. I read him the email line by line and confirmed all my account information TWICE with him.

“I’m going to transfer you to my supervisor, he can help you out with this, hang on,” he said after ten minutes of being on hold.

I sighed and said, ‘Okay”.

Another person comes on the phone,, “I just need you to confirm your information, are you sure you have the right account number?” he says.

At this point, I’m losing my cool.

Here’s an over dramatic Robert De Niro scene to show you how I felt.

(Brilliant actor, asshole guy).

Again, I read everything to him for a second time.

He says, “Okay, let me put on hold while I look into something,” he says.

Another five minutes pass. I have no idea how long I’ve been on the phone at this time, he can hear me start to fret.

“Sorry, this is taking so long, but I just need to put you on hold again. You don’t have any other accounts with us do you?” he asked.

I once again, for the fourth time, confirmed all my information with him.

“Okay, give me a few minutes,” he says and puts me on hold.

I look at the clock – it’s getting close to the thirty minute mark of being on the phone with these people.

“Okay, I can’t help with you, but I’m transferring you to someone who can help you,” he says.

“Are you kidding me?” I snapped, losing my cool. “It’s already been thirty minutes and you are the second person I’ve dealt with on this.”

“Sorry, please hold,” he said quickly and passed the call onto a third colleague.

The woman who had a heavy accent and spoke very quickly asked me to confirm my information – and I did for a fifth time. FIVE TIMES.

“Can you confirm your full name and date of birth?” she asks.

Long pause, heavy sigh, you can hear the disdain in my sigh as I try and not scream into the phone.

“Do you have your bank card number with you? Can you give me the last four digits?” she says.

Long heavy sigh, and I give her the numbers.

“Can you confirm the expiry date?” she says.

I sigh again, pull out the card and confirm – funny the other two guys didn’t need that.

“Can you give me your Visa number?” she says.

AND THIS IS WHERE I LOSE IT TOTALLY.

Why does she even need my visa number if I’m calling about webbroker services?

“Are you really kidding me right now? You have all this information in front of you. I have confirmed this FIVE times. Can you guys help me or not? I just want this application CANCELLED and please tell me why didn’t I receive any paperwork.”

I am yelling into the phone at this phone. I’m sure my neighbours can hear me.

“I’m sorry, I’m doing the best I can. I need this information from you,” she says.

“YOU HAVE IT! YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED!”

So, I know by this point, I’m acting like an over-grown woman-child. But I’m upset. Pushed past my limit. I know these people are jerking me around and I’m not giving her the satisfaction of giving her my credit card number.

But I knew – that it was a wasted effort. And so, rather than escalate the call, I just said, “This is useless, no you can’t help me,” I said and slammed my finger on that end call button.

I know better than this. I can handle these situations better and I’m disappointed in myself for letting my anger get the best of me. It’s a problem I’ve had in the past and have worked on for a lot of years.

I legit, walked away from my phone, got dressed, put on some makeup – put on my shoes and took out the garbage. I went for a brisk walk outside and I could feel my whole body vibrating from the anger.

I pounded up the stairs and down the stairs. I checked the mail. I waited until I finally calmed down enough to return to my suite before writing a somewhat professional email to TD expressing my concern over the lack of competency from their staff.

I also asked for the two hours of my life spent on this back. Kind of like I tweeted to Joaquin Phoenix after watching “I’m Still Here.”

Please, just don’t. That movie was…. the worst thing I’ve seen in my life and I’ve seen a lot of horrific things.


So, in a nutshell. The coping techniques I learned in training on how to deal with difficult situations – they are paying off. Instead of totally losing my cool and going ape-shit on this woman on the phone – I chose to END the call and walk away from it.

I chose to take my frustration on the pavement outside instead.

Is it Friday yet? I mean, it doesn’t really matter to me – the days are blending together. But damn. It’s three pm and I need a drink arleady.

Here’s an entertaining clip of people hanging up the phone from random movies. I really miss those old phones.


UPDATE:

I got a fast reply from the bank via my email but it was a generic “we value your business” blah blah blah. “email is not secure can you send us a message in the easyweb secure email?”

OH MY GOD. That’s not even the webbroker site. These people are clueless. I said no, they can look up my account information like any other company with my email address and contact information. I also told them to stop jerking me around and stop passing me around to more people. That makes SIX people I’ve now talked to on this issue.

I’m done. Where’s my beer?


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