Upon advice from a good friend who reads this blog – I’m using this blog to collect my stories all in one place so that I can send them to an editor (if I can afford it) and say “do something” with this.
I’ve always had dreams for as long as I can remember. They’ve always been wild, vivid, surround sound and 3D live action. It’s like I’m in a movie. watching myself act out a scene. There are people I’ve never met. Places I’ve never been to.
Not long ago, I had a dream I was flying (yes, flying dreams) over India and watched all kinds of strange animals move across the land. There were giant elephants and camel like creatures that were massive and magical. Everything seemed like it was straight out of a JRR Tolkien novel.
When I fell to the ground, I could feel my own body sort of “jump” into bed. If that makes any kind of sense. And then I was wide awake.
The dreams started getting more and more intense as I got older. But I remember this recurring nightmare I had as a kid.
I was sitting in the back of my dad’s old station wagon. We had that car a long time and spent many hours driving as a family to the mountains every summer until the beast finally died.
In my dream, I was playing by myself in the backseat. I couldn’t have been more than eight or nine. I was playing just on my own. Minding my own business.
I heard a noise. I could see fog on the window of the car, kind of like when a car gets steamy hot inside. I remember letting out a tiny cry. I didn’t have any toys with me. I was just using my imagination and playing those “mind” games I often came up with to keep me occupied.
I watched as the gearshift moved on its own. The car engine sputtered and then it roared. The steering wheel started to move as if possessed by an unseen spirit.
I tried to leap forward, desperately grasping the front seat, trying to climb over it into the driver’s seat. I had watched my dad enough times driving to know which was the break pedal.
The car started moving slowly, inching it’s way down the driveway. I let out a piercing scream. Tears rolled down my face. I cried for my dad. But nobody came.
It was as though something had me pinned to the backseat. Pushed by some kind of energy or force that I couldn’t fight. But finally, I broke free.
And just as the car was about to crash into the neighbour’s house, I managed to climb over the front seat and stop the car. But it was too late. The damage had been done.
And then – I just woke up. Every time – at that same part in the dream.
Opening a doorway – to the metaphysical
It was like a horror scene out of Stephen King’s “Christine” movie but the movie hadn’t even come out yet – and I wasn’t into horror movies – yet.
I didn’t get involved into the “spiritual” stuff until I was twelve. My friend Christine had a Ouija board. We played with it – nothing happened. I found it weird her mom would buy it for her since they were a hardcore Christian family. I guess they didn’t believe in hauntings.
I kept the board at my house for a few days. I tried it a couple of times on my own but nothing ever happened with it. I didn’t like having it in my room so I gave it back to Christine.
Sometimes I wonder if that was the moment – the moment that opened doors to me to other possibilities. I still don’t know what I believe in. But I want to believe that there are doorways to other realms. That we are in the physical realm – the living world. And there are other worlds below and above us and around us.
I also believe that the universe is finite – there are endless possibilities, theories, and experiences to be had.
As is taught in the world of Shamanism. we are ruled by a “Creator” = not a God – but by Mother Earth and Father Sun.
Heaven, hell – the Here After
Before my mum died, we spent a few weeks together while my dad and sister were in Europe on a vacation. Mum was too sick to go. I planned my vacation so I could spend some time with her, knowing we wouldn’t have much time left together. I don’t know how I know these things – I just had this sinking feeling.
One night, we stayed up and watched a couple of scary movies. We both loved Anthony Hopkins so we watched The Rite – a movie about exorcisms and demons.
“I can’t sleep after that,” mum said to me. I looked at the clock and it was nearly two in the morning. “Let’s watch something fun,” she said and picked up her crochet pattern. She loved working with her hands until her hands wouldn’t work anymore.
As I picked another movie (we chose Now and Then), I asked mum if she believed in ghosts or demons.
“Yes, I think so. I mean, I hated the hallway where I lived in Calgary. I hated it. I didn’t want to go down that hallway at night time,” she said.
“What about demons?” I asked her – mum was Catholic and raised us Catholic. By that time, we had left the church.
“Well, I guess I have to. If I believe in God, then I have to believe in demons. And if I want to get into heaven, then I have to believe in God,” she said.
The way she said it, her tone in such a matter of a fact way, I almost believed her. I thought, if there really is a heaven, she would find her way there.
Shamans believe that when they die, they will meet their ancestors and guides at The Nierika. A gateway between the physical world and the spirit world.
I hope that when it comes my time, to leave the physical world, that I too, will travel to a place where I can see my mother again. And my father, when it’s his time to go.
The Metaphysical World
I think I could probably write a whole book on what the metaphysical world is. But as I get more into meditation, eating healthy and reconnecting with nature – I find myself opening up to new ideas. I’m writing more than ever. It feels as though I’m awake again after having slept for many years.
Metaphysics is the branch of philosophy that examines fundamental nature of reality, according to Wikipedia. Studies relate to existence, what it means to exist and what kinds of existences there are.
Does that even make sense? I don’t know – it’s 1:40 in the morning and insomnia is keeping me awake.
What is there? What is time?
Metaphysics covers a variety of subjects form space and time, cause and effect, possibility and necessity – free will – determinism – the soul – mind over matter.
(I’m trying not to copy this word for word – but it’s late)
A really good movie that touches on space and time is Interstellar. Things that we thought were once science fiction – will one day become a reality. We’re seeing this already when it comes to space travel, technology, and artificial intelligence.
Okay, yes, the movie is fiction. But a lot of science and physics is based on “theories” as discussed in the movie.
Lucid dreaming, astral travel and out of body experiences
So, why did I bounce from a recurring dream to writing about metaphysics? There is a method to my madness.
Shamans and healers around the world – even in old world tribes – believe that lucid dreaming acts as a bridge between different realities or different worlds.
There have been numerous studies on lucid dreaming and out of body experiences. We only understand how a small percentage of our brain actually works.
Imagine a world – if we could record our dreams and watch them later. Just imagine all the wonderful and scary things we would see. And all the new things that we could learn.
Astral travel between worlds
I’ve had many experiences in astral travel and out of body experiences – they feel so real at times. I don’t know if I was born with this gift, or if my studies into occult practices led me here – but some of these lucid dreams and astral travel experiences are far out wild.
Sometimes just before I wake up, I can feel my bed start to shake a little and I feel like I’m physically falling back into bed. Some people think this is a jerk that your body experiences – the scientific community will debunk this as nothing more than a chemical reaction.
But I like to keep an open mind to other possibilities. And the “what if’s?”
I like to think that as in Shamanism, and I’ve said this before here in this blog, that dreams open our minds to travel in between worlds and other dimensions. Not everyone has this gift.
Most everyone dreams – but not everyone remembers their dreams upon wakening. I almost always remember my dreams. Sometimes, I even wake up with the same feelings I had in my dream – fear, sadness or a relaxed feeling from “flying”.
One night, I found scratches on my lower left leg that lasted nearly two months. And another time, I found finger prints on my shoulder when I woke up. The finger prints didn’t match my own.
I’ve seen things that no person should see in that stage where you are between the awake and asleep stage. And no, this wasn’t sleep paralysis – I was able to move and fully aware of my surroundings.
Most of my paranormal experiences are related to sleep. Nightmares, night terrors, sleep paralysis – and hallucinations of the hooded figure or the hat man.
I also woke up to see a dead girl standing next to my bed – at least, that’s what my mind told me.
I remember being so tired from insomnia, I found myself in my home office reaching for the ceiling light to pull the plug. I must have stood there for two minutes before I realized I wasn’t at my dad’s house.
I still don’t know what happened that day. It was a glitch in the system. Maybe a “glitch in the matrix” as people like to joke. But I could have sworn, for those two minutes – I had been standing in the crawl space of my dad’s basement and was reaching for the ceiling light.
That crawl space is a room that still haunts my nightmares to this day. I don’t know why. I never did find out what it was – but there was this energy down there. And I still dream about it to this day.
And so, I’ll be writing every week and sharing my experiences and dreams as I try to recall them. Some dreams aren’t worth remembering. But others – they feel so real – it makes you stop and think.
What if? What if I keep learning and expanding and opening my mind to these experiences? Just how far can one go?
And if dreams are really a doorway to the spirit world, then I really hope I get to see mum – just one more time. For one more dream.
Spiritual Health and Empowerment
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