Monday Mood: In quiet contemplation

Today would have been my parents 52nd wedding anniversary. I was looking at their wedding photos and my dad – I have never seen him smile like he did that day. He hasn’t smiled like that in a long time.

I am seeing him on Wednesday for the first time since lock down began. This will actually be the furthest from home I’ve traveled in two months. I’m actually having a bit of anxiety thinking about going out. That’s what isolation does to you.

I want things to get back to normal. Whatever the new normal will be.

Last night was terrible. I couldn’t sleep. I finally popped a couple of pain pills and it knocked me out fast. That was around four am. I woke up around 11:30 am. But I showered. Got dressed. Did my hair. Got my groceries delivered. Unpacked. Put away. Vegetables are washed. Dishes are clean and put away.

I’m thinking about what to make for dinner tonight. I stocked up on lots of vegetables, milk, and meat for the next two weeks. I have deli chicken for protein this week. Steak for next week – a huge honking piece of meat. But tonight, I’m thinking chicken, kale and quinoa.

Yeah. That sounds good.

I called my dad – no answer. I called some friends – no answer. So, I put on my headphones and am mellowing out to some Cozy Coffeehouse music on Spotify. It’s pretty chill. I’m in the zone. For the first time in a couple of weeks.

My mood has been all over the map and I’ve been extremely pissed off at the world. But I feel lighter today. And in quiet contemplation thinking about what to do for the summer while at home. What new skills to learn. And what kind of work I want to do in the fall.

Lots of things to think about.

Here’s the playlist if you want to just zone out and chill. It’s a great feeling. Of course, that could be left over from the drugs. Toradol is a wonderful drug for chronic pain.


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