Time is running out. I'm in mild-panic mode.


Okay, so I’m noticing a shift with my eating habits this week. My sleep is still all over the map. I’ve spent the last two days searching options for income supports and have applied for just about everything I can qualify for.

Times are tough in our province. I never thought at my age, I would be in this situation. All because I got sick. While working for my employer in an unhealthy work environment.

I’m thinking about career choices that I can do from home. Trying to get a sense of some work that I can in the future. I’ve signed up for Skillshare and hope to possibly do some music tutorial courses on there. The problem is I don’t want to appear on camera. I’ll have to get my studio somehow rigged up for that. And then there’s lesson planning. I always thought I would be a good teacher. I just don’t have the patience for it. I learned that a lot of people are making good money on the site. It is an option for down the road.

I’d like to get back into writing but I need a stable income. I need something that pays the bills and pays off my debt. Those loan payments aren’t going to pay themselves. I’m trying to reduce cost where I can. Things like switching to cheaper brands and providers. I’m trying to sell music equipment I no longer use. I don’t really have anything of value to sell. And I’ve had NO bites on Facebook for any of the misc products – plus sized clothing like new, a digital camera I haven’t used in over a year, and a keyboard. Not one bite. I’m thinking pretty much everyone is broke like me.

I’m thinking of alternative ways to bring in money. Things like chatting for bucks. Online surveys. Just anything that could help pay off my loan. I have enough covered for rent. But nothing much on top of that.

I’ve spent a couple of hours on the phone, lots of time writing emails to find other supports. Next week will be busy with medical appointments, tests, and seeking out an occupational therapist or counsellor I can speak with.

In a perfect world, a work from home situation would be ideal. Even if I had to go into the office once or twice a week, I’d be okay with that. Something where I can be a bit flexible with hours and get away from the desk.

I’m still down a few pounds. My eating has lessened. In the morning I’ll have a bowl of cereal. Lunch – usually left overs from the day before. I’ve been eating left over stew. This is why I batch cook. Snacking has been fruit, yogurt, granola bars, mostly healthy things.

I’m feeling a little more optimistic about the future. But… I’m getting pretty desperate for some cash. I really don’t want to start advertising on this blog. But I don’t even have money for the $120 membership coming up in April.

Anyone have any rich sugar daddies they want to send my way? I’m only half kidding with that. I’m running out ideas. Even one of the case workers I spoke to today said I was doing everything right and taking all the necessary steps.

This being on leave without pay is terrifying. In more ways than one. I’ll never complain about my salary again.

But of course, you know I will.

Because we’re humans, it’s what we do.

How are you getting by on this Friday afternoon? I’ve been enjoying some nice and interesting hot flashes. Did you know that even feet could sweat? It’s as gross as it sounds.

How you can help: Funrzr OR donate to paypal at: paypalme@ jwcshortstories


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