Grief: young at heart

Short post today. I spent some time on youtube doing some research into trends and what kinds of topics I can do podcasts on and such. Still trying to think of ways to earn supplement income – just in case.

Bad day today. I couldn’t sleep at all last night. Finally crawled into bed around 9 this morning. Yeah, you read that right. 9 in the morning. I kept waking up. I don’t know what’s wrong. Blame insomnia I guess.

The neighbours were doing some kind of construction that woke me out of a dead sleep at 1:30. I lazed around another thirty minutes before finally dragging my ass out of bed.

I had a migraine. I was feeling like crap. But my stomach was starting to growl and so, it was time. I even skipped coffee and opted instead, for a light bowl of Special K and milk with a side of water.

I wasn’t hungry at all today. I didn’t feel like cooking. But I had ground beef thawed out. And I just made the most delicious serving of taco beef ever. The key is – use taco sauce, garlic, minced ginger, add in some corn, lima beans and kale. Salt, pepper. Add cheese. Voila. I’m heading back for seconds soon.

The excitement of the day. I FORCED myself to get dressed and go downstairs to the mailbox. Then I walked around the building. Walked all the way up to the top floor and down again. A bit later, I bundled myself up and took out the garbage. Which holy crap. I had on idea how much snow we’ve had in the last week. It made for treacherous walking.

Walking on hard snow is fine. But fresh snow that has started melting? It’s a slippery slope, pun intended.

I’m tired. And tired of being sick and broke. I’m tired of not seeing more progress with weight loss. I’m struggling to keep up the motivation. It’s hard to stay positive and upbeat when you’re encouraging others to be healthy. When clearly, I’m not.

Today is also the anniversary of my mother’s death. And so, no recipes tonight. It’s been six years. And it doesn’t hurt any less.

Instead, I’m going to share one of her favorite songs with you. And I think maybe, just today, it’s appropriate. It’s Young at Heart, Frank Sinatra. Mum loved the crooners like Dean Martin, Frank, Bing Crosby and Sammy Davis Jr.

So, here’s to you mum. I made it through the day just for you. Because I know that’s what you’d want me to do. But I sure wish you were here. I miss your voice.

Here’s another favorite classic – Jimmy Durante.


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